[Viratas]

Dear J,

It has been many years since I first stepped into your wrestling room. 30+, to be exact. I was young, probably cocky, and thought I was going to walk in and make a statement. That confidence didn’t last long. I was humbled right out of the gate. Despite having trained with some of the best wrestlers in the world, or, more accurately, served as an Adam dummy for them. I was quickly put in my place by you and even guys much smaller than me. That first month was rough, challenging, and a harsh reality check.

Over the next few years, I didn’t always understand the plan you had laid out for us as a team. Honestly, we often thought you were just trying to see if you could break us. Wrestling for you wasn’t easy; it was draining, mentally and physically. My teammates and I would often wonder why you were so hard on us. It wasn’t until much later that I finally realized what you had done for me, and so many others.

I’ll never forget the day it all clicked. I had made a terrible choice, one that came with life-altering consequences, rightfully so. I broke and tried to take my own life. If it weren’t for a teammate and lifelong friend, I wouldn’t be here to write this letter. In the aftermath, back home, you were one of the first people to call me. I hadn’t spoken with you in years, probably five. I was stunned. I thought you’d never want to talk to me again.

Shortly after that call, it all hit me. All those years ago, you pushed us to our limits, mentally and physically, not just for the sake of a sport, but to prepare us for life. At my lowest point, I had to rely on that training to find the willpower to carry on. The mental toughness you instilled in us, the relentless “get-it-done” mindset, helped me begin to move forward.

I’m writing this letter not to highlight how you made me a national and world champion. Honestly, this isn’t even about wrestling. My name doesn’t matter; some may figure it out, but that’s not the point. I’m writing to thank you for saving my life in ways you may never fully know.

This letter touches on a topic many are uncomfortable with: suicide, or, more broadly, the battle we face with the most formidable opponent of all: ourselves. I fight this battle daily, and each day I dig down to find the man you worked to build in us. Through conversations with my peers, I’ve come to realize I’m not the only one who faces this struggle. I’m also not the only one who can look back and know that those who pushed us hard are still helping us fight our toughest battles.

To younger and older athletes alike, if I can offer any advice: don’t overlook your mental health. The skills you learned in the room, discipline, resilience, and perseverance, can help you overcome challenges in life that seem insurmountable. Also, check in on your former teammates and friends. You never know how much that one call, text, or email could mean to someone. I know this from experience. Some of my friends have reached out to me out of the blue at just the right moment, without ever knowing how much I needed it.

This letter isn’t meant to be about me or to be depressing. It’s meant as a thank you, to the coaches who shape our lives and to remind us all of the importance of mental health. It’s something we need to nurture as much as we do our physical selves.

So, J and all the other coaches who push athletes to be their best, thank you.

Anonymous

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That’s to keep your whining ass shut. You want off this ranch, you got it. I’ll drive your ass to the train station myself.

[mspart]

Thanks for sharing V.

mspart

[Author]

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